THE STAGES OF GRIEF

There are five stages of grief that were first proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book ‘On Death and Dying’.

The 5 stages of grief and loss are denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them.

In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage with different levels of intensity. Contrary to popular belief, the five stages of loss do not necessarily occur in any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of grief.

Many people do not experience the stages of grief in the order listed below, which is perfectly okay and normal. The key to understanding the stages is not to feel like you must go through every one of them, in precise order. Instead, it’s more helpful to look at them as guides in the grieving process — it helps you understand and put into context where you are.

Please keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. Some people will wear their emotions on their sleeve and be outwardly emotional. Others will experience their grief more internally and may not cry. It is not for us to judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently.

1. Denial and isolation

Sometimes it’s hard to talk to family and friends and you just need that one person who takes the time to listen...

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2. Anger

As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to pass, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready...

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3. Bargaining

The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control through a series of “If only” statements,...

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4. Depression

There are two types of depression that are associated with mourning...

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5. Acceptance

Reaching this stage of grieving is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial...

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